The proof that we have been wounded
When we suffer an aggression, our resentment is the proof that what has been told and / or done has deeply affected us. This way:
- Other people will think that what has been said could be true
- Other people will think that that was enough to break our spirit
The more we react (vengeance, etc.), the more we demonstrate our weakness.
A few examples:
- Losing calmness and screaming like a crazy
- Attacking people who do not threaten our safety (or that of others)
- Not understanding when it’s time to stop a discussion
- Reacting inconsiderately and / or disproportionately
- Perpetrating complex and stupid revenges
- Risking to be severely punished (by the law, etc.)
- Risking to suffer bad injuries for nothing
All this does nothing but increase the glory of those who attacked us by offering them a wide recognition. In other words, to the abuse that we have suffered (or that we think we have suffered), we add the humiliation of showing the consequences of our “pain”.
How to be “invincible”
Reasoning in extreme terms, it’s easy to understand that the only truly invincible being is not:
- Who defend itself and win
- Who reacts to every little spite
Impassibility. A man (or a woman) with a strong mindset does not need to act because any attack against him / her falls into nothingness (read The 3 alerts of a Shaolin monk):
- As a child attack again a giant
- As a punch against a mountain
- Like a bucket trying to empty the sea
A note by Master Kongling – Prevailing does not mean knocking down an opponent, it means obtaining the best benefit, beyond the normal habits of the context we are involved (read for example). In this sense, those who are more likely to prevail are those who play beyond preconceived rules and never those who submit to them. We must learn to abstract ourselves from the common mental patterns and to reason as if we saw from outside the scenarios that we find ourselves living.
A different point of view
The resentment is not in the people who make us the wrongs:
- The grudge is only in our minds
- If we want to live in peace we must leave it
- Revenge does not rebalance anything
- Revenge only enhances the relevance of a gesture
We have to consider resentment and revenge as diseases that infect our happiness: forgetting is the way that leads us to the immediate healing.
This is the mental approach that we must strive to gain:
- It does not mean that we do not have to react in case of real need (read Personal defense: the S.A.F.E. method)
- It means to avoid any kind of useless violence (verbal or worst physical, read The 6DKF’s diagram about the use of violence)
- This way we can become mentally strong (read Warrior’s self-control)
- This way we are changing the world (starting from ourselves)
- Become the absolute zero – The highest mental state of a warrior
- Fighting and mind control: the anchors – A way to start to control our mind reactions
Reply in the comments and share your experience:
- Have you ever been so strong to avoid to react to other one’s aggression (physical or verbal)?
Author: Master Kongling
Founder of 6 Dragons Kung Fu.
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