Self Defense: 10 Things to avoid in a quarrel

As we have stated, to deal with the first level of self-defense situation (the one that does not involve the use of force) it is important to prepare ourselves mentally.

Knowing in advance how to react in the right way, we will have a great help in controlling the inevitable emotional stess of the moment.

In a dispute situation we have just begun we must immediately block the escalation that could outcome to harmful results (for us and for others) of violence. So here’s 10 things we should at all costs avoid:

  • Shorten the distances (nose to nose, with open shoulders, chin up, etc.); this way we bring the fight right away on a physical plane where it will be speed, reflexes and luck to decide our fate
  • Touch, indicate or worse shove / hit our “adversary”; it means in effect to start a clash that we do not know how it will end (also from the legal point of view)
  • Insulting, raising voice, provoking, mocking, humiliating, producing damage to property or persons; it means breaking an already precarious balance and give our “adversary” a justification to attack
  • Accusing the verbal jabs (insults, threats, etc.); who we face should not expect to have chances to prevail over us, neither physically nor verbally, we should not react but even not succumb (we can read the article “Become the absolute zero”)
  • Threat to be armed, to be skilled fighters, dangerous people (etc.); it does not work, it claims a confrontation and makes it clear that we are afraid, who can fight and is willing to, does not reveals it (we’ll discuss this again in the next article)
  • Give imperatives orders; an aggresor that is angry with us will never do what we directly say, even if he has doubts about being able to prevail (in the next article we will see how to play in our favor this mechanism)
  • Move quickly, shake our arms with big movements (or worse at eye level), showing nervousness and / or talk faster; for an angry mind everything that moves faster, stronger and near is a threat (fast means violent)
  • Look intensely into the “adversary” eyes for more than a few seconds; the look is for many like a finger pointing, an angry look like a sword pointed, in other words an unbearable threat
  • Let us not to be taken by anger, fear, panic or excessive confidence; let’s try to gain the right benefit from this information we are gathering, and let’s use them (along with martial practice) to increase our awareness
  • Wasting time thinking to things like: “why it happen to me?”, “What do I do now? I am not ready!”, “Why here?”, “Why now?” (etc.); useless, probably we were not careful enough but now it is not important, the danger is here, we must be lucid to dialogue and determined to (possibly) fight with all our resources

In the next article we’ll see what is right to do when you are in a self defense situation.

Author: Master Kongling

Founder of 6 Dragons Kung Fu.

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